Why getting what you want won't make you happy

Hi everyone,

How many times have you caught yourself thinking, "I’ll finally be happy once this project is done," or "I just need to buy that one new thing"? We spend so much of our time treating happiness like a physical destination we can reach by acquiring more wealth, better relationships, or the latest gadgets. But have you ever noticed why that feeling of happiness fades so quickly once we actually get what we want?

The spiritual teachings in the book Alive Inside offer a brilliant and highly relatable perspective using a simple Indian sweet: the rasgulla. Imagine placing a syrup-soaked rasgulla on your tongue when you are incredibly hungry—it feels like pure bliss. But if you are forced to eat ten of those same sweets in one sitting, that exact same treat becomes heavy and sickening. This reveals a profound truth about human nature: the joy was never actually inside the rasgulla; the joy was simply in the temporary relief from your own desire. Once your craving disappeared, the pleasure vanished right along with it.

Modern life constantly pushes us to fill our inner emptiness by adding more things to our plates. But this endless cycle just replaces one fulfilled desire with a brand new craving. We don't just want things; we are deeply addicted to the feeling of wanting. There is a fascinating story in the book about a wild plant seed that entirely stops a person's hunger for three weeks. A man who ate this seed was then invited to a grand feast filled with his favorite foods, but because he had absolutely no desire to eat, he felt completely miserable. He realized that without craving, the objects he usually loved brought him zero joy.

True fullness, however, doesn't come from abundance. It comes from cultivating what the author calls "the art of enough". We are like the beggar in an ancient parable who tightly clutches a bowl of stale food, terrified to throw it away to make room for a fresh, warm meal from a wise sage. We cling to our familiar cravings and shallow pleasures because we are scared of empty space.

But fulfillment doesn't come from what you add to your life—it comes from what you learn to release. That is why monks who live with absolutely nothing often smile far more than millionaires with packed calendars. When we reduce our cravings, we finally create the inner space needed for stillness, gratitude, and true joy. This week, I challenge you to practice subtraction instead of addition. Try to empty your bowl of endless wants, and see what peace rushes in to fill the space.